This morning my brother took me foraging for food in the lanes and fields near his house. We scored big on wild blackberries and mushrooms and also a few damsons. The mushrooms made it home, but the rest were consumed on the spot. Then it was off to the visitor center of the Severn Valley Railway.

These is the the Lady Armaghdale, a transexual steam engine that formerly masqueraded as Thomas the Tank Engine. [Archival photo]

Of course, we all know where the real Thomas is.

As well as the faux Thomas, they also have a Gordon, painted the wrong shade of blue and currently pretending to be something out of Harry Potter.

This Gordon was actually named after General Gordon of Khartoum, failed imperialist and mouse whisperer.

…those who knew Gordon described him as a chain-smoking, rage-filled, desperate man wearing a shabby uniform who spent hours talking to a mouse that he shared his office with when he was not attacking his Sudanese servants with his rattan cane during one of his rages.

He makes Gordon the Big Engine seem positively benevolent in comparison.

The pride of the Severn Valley Railway’s collection is the royal coach used by King George VI during WWII and later by Prince Philip up until the 1970s.

Because it was built in wartime, the coach is armour plated, and originally had steel shutters that could cover the windows. Inside it is a mixture of austerity and luxury.

The saloon, where the king entertained visitors such as Churchill, Eisenhower, Montgomery, and de Gaulle, has bell pushes to summon just the right staff member.

Waiter, however, was a translation so visitors would know what button to press if they needed G&T. In the king’s own quarters the same circuit summoned a Sergeant of Footmen.
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The king’s valet had a private room next to the king’s bathroom.

As well as a bed there was an ironing board and electric iron, so the royal apparel was always perfectly pressed even when the German bombs were falling all around.

The bathtub was huge…

… but due to wartime restrictions the king was limited to four inches of water in it. I wonder if he ever cheated and went for an extra inch or two.

After lunch we visited the nearby Highley Station, where they have a fine collection of vintage vending machines from the days when a bar of chocolate cost 20p and you didn’t need ID to buy cigarettes.

We watched a steam train pull in backwards…

… and there was that exciting moment when the tokens allowing the train to travel on different stretches of single track line were exchanged.

For those of you who have no interest in steam trains or vintage vending machines, here’s a blue tit.