Just outside Stoke-on-Trent was the stately home of Trentham. The mansion was abandoned and partially demolished in 1912, when the toffs who lived there could not take the air and water pollution any more and moved to one of their other mansions. The poor sods working in the factories that were creating the pollution had no choice but to stay. The gardens, including an ornamental lake designed by Capability Brown, fell into disrepair over the course of the 20th century. In 1996 it was bought by a property development corporation, who are now busy monetizing the estate in various ways, including preserving, restoring, and enhancing the historic gardens.

Partners on the estate include a shopping mall, a golf course, a zip line course, and a monkey forest. We decided to give the zip lines a miss and headed first for the monkey forest.

It’s a lot of fun. There are no cages or bars, you just get to wonder through 60 acres of woodland with a monkey proof fence, which is home to about 140 Barbary Macaques in two troops. The Barbary Macaque is native to the mountains of Algeria and Morocco where it gets cold in winter, so they have no problems living outdoors in the English climate. Due to habitat destruction and the capture of young monkeys for sale as pets, there are only about 8,000 left in the wild.

These have all been bred in captivity, either here or in similar parks in France and Germany, so they are used to humans wandering through their habitat, and they continue with their eating, grooming, social activities, and napping as if we were not there. The company that runs this park has in the past reintroduced macaques into the wild, but they have stopped doing that as there is no suitable habitat left to put them in. They currently have a number of the females on birth control to keep the population stable.

No, they don’t have tails, but yes, they are monkeys not apes. The tail evolved away when they moved up into the mountains, as an adaptation to living in a cold climate. They are still pretty relaxed up in the trees, though.

After lunch at the Banana Cafe (yes, banana really are a big favorite with these monkeys, they have no idea what a cliche that is) we went to the Trentham Gardens, starting at the less formal end with the lake.

In the “monetize everything” policy of the owners it is used for rowing, canoeing, pleasure boat rides, fishing, and ornamental waterfowl.

Just when you though it was safe to go out at night you discover battle swans also come in black for night time commando attacks.

There’s a miniature railway…

… and random acts of sculpture.

They are mostly animal sculptures, but this one is a tribute the the deep concern that the clearing banks have for their customers.

It represents a bank customer surrounded and protected by a fifty penny piece (or as my great aunt called them, “The new half sovereigns.” It’s nice to know that the people who brought us the 2008 financial collapse think it’s worth 50p to protect us.

The grounds are also littered with stainless steel fairies in suggestive poses.

There’s a maze. I like mazes, so explored that one while Paula had her third cup of tea.

Closer to the remains of the old house there are more formal gardens.

The carefully pruned yew trees are a hundred and fifty years old.

As you approach ruins of the house, the color palette gets brighter.

Then you can turn around and look back towards the lake.

Off to the side was my favorite bit, the floral labyrinth.

Paula loved this leafy walk.

She got on well with this fairy, too.

Paula can talk to anybody.