A sunny Bank Holiday Monday’s cruise from the back end of nowhere where we were moored last night to the outskirts of the outskirts of Devizes. The original plan was to head into Devizes for a pleasant end-of-day mooching and mooring, but Andrew made the fatal mistake of letting me drive for the afternoon and Pegotty signalled her delight at this turn with a gay plume of smoke from her engine, which Andrew will tell you all about. Now we are waiting for the wizard to arrive with his book of incantations, so Devizes will have to restrain itself till tomorrow.

In the meantime we were out of bread and crackers, so I volunteered to venture into the human world using a custom version of Paula’s bike with Andrew’s front wheel, which came out a bit like a BMX designed for a lady clown who has had her legs specially shortened to negative length. Pedalling furiously towards the light, I eventually arrived at the foot of a staircase leading upwards to one of the humans’ roads, and they seemed to suspect nothing as my ingenious contraption bore me into the heart of their strange community, where I was able to enter their temples of Sainsbury’s and Morrison’s. Nervous of detection and mesmerised by the wonders around me, I forgot part of my mission and returned with three loaves and large amounts of beer, ice cream, and chocolate dessert instead of the crackers. Descending at last with my bag of treasures back to the leafy waterworld of the folk beneath, I was at first dismayed to find that centuries had passed and that Pegotty was now fused to a bank of willows and overgrown with seasonal vegetables, but then realised as I got closer it was just Andrew in his hat with the Brasso out.