This is Mr and Mrs Snail.

Snails are hermaphrodites, so they get to use both titles. If you think your sex life is weird, you should try being a snail during the mating season. Anyhow, he and she doesn’t go very fast, but he and she carries his and her home around with him and her. That’s pretty much life on a canal boat, apart from the hermaphrodite sex.

Today we teamed up with another boat to go through the locks from Newbury to Kintbury. One of the owners is a gardner, and he did not want to do without a lawn. However, he had not been able to water or mow it for a long time.

Locks can be pretty social, and we were getting to know couple in the other boat pretty well. We were both aiming for Kintbury, but half way to the final lock the skies opened with a heavy thundershower, and I decided to moor and wait till it passed over. Rather than pound in stakes, I just tied the mooring lines to trees on the far side of the towpath, but because of a barbed wire fence they got tied at chest height, just right to decapitate any cyclists on the towpath. Luckily none of them came along, while we were moored. In fact, by the time the boat was secure, the rain was getting lighter, and pretty soon it stopped. Time for elevenses, and then on to the last lock in Kintbury.

Our friends Nick and Margaret arrived on the 3:17, which was running a few minutes late, so I amused myself by taking photos of Mr and Mrs Snail. We soon go them on board and then set off again. That is, we got Nick and Margaret on board, not the damn snail. Enough with the snail already. I’m bored with the snail.

Paula drove the boat and I taught Nick and Margaret to work the locks. We moored up and Hungerford and set out to find the high spots.

Five minutes later we hit Tesco to buy ice cream for dessert. Oh, yes, there was a pedal operated dental drill in an antique shop, which I refused to photograph because it drills holes in your teeth.

We may be having too much run with N & M to do much blogging in the next few days, so I have given them guest accounts to help out.

Anything can happen in the next half hour